A Personal Rebuilding Struggle

A drastic change in ones physical appearance after surgery can be devastating on may levels. For me, I’m still struggling with my current physical ability and appearance. It’s difficult for me to accept the changes I’ve gone through. This isn’t the first time I’ve had to rebuild myself. The images bellow were taken almost 4 years apart from each other. The left, after my first cancer surgery in 2012. The right, after my second cancer surgery this past December, 2015. Both pics were taken 1 month after each surgery.

At the time of the picture on the left above, I weighed 168 lbs. At the time of the picture on the right above, I weighed 149 lbs. The 3 pictures bellow are just a few of the many that were taken after my last surgery. These are just some of the images that haunt me.

I’ve learned to except the scars, but it’s the weight loss and lack of ability that bother me most. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful for being able to do everything I can. Heck, I climbed a 14,000 foot mountain not that long ago! But the struggle for me, is starting over yet again with rebuilding myself. This next picture was taken in June of 2015, just 2 months before my second diagnoses.


I know I’m my own worst enemy when it come to this. I understand life goes on and I’m alive. BUT, that doesn’t change that fact that I am back in the position I was in just 4 years ago. SO, now what?

Well, I am going to bust my ass to get back into the best shape I can possibly be in, again! THAT’S WHAT!!!!!!

To all my ostomy brothers and sisters, don’t forget your core exercises…


The struggle I face each day is very real. I might make it look or sound easy, but it’s not. Life became much more of an uphill battle after this past surgery. The physical and psychological pain from everything is difficult to block out, especially when I look in the mirror. It’s also a driving force that pushes me forward to new challenges. I will always continue to challenge myself to become better. With that being said, be on the lookout for a challenge I will be starting for each of you. No excuses on this one…  #nobladderneeded


6 thoughts on “A Personal Rebuilding Struggle

  1. Hi, Chris, it is amazing what you have achieved!
    I would like if you can share what support you use when you do exercise. A lot of people with ostomy bag can easily get parastomal hernia if they do too much exercise.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t actually use any support. I’ve learned to make sure I have a very strong core before moving to exercises that would put me at risk of a hernia. Core training has been my main focus, I’m now able to perform other exercises because of that.


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